yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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