Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
