I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
