When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
