No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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