Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
