he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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