Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Floor bacon is actually really good
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
