none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
That's intense
from now on my penis is your penis
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
