it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
