Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
