I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
where are my eyebrows?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
