super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
