So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
