is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dear god my vagina.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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