so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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