3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
whose parrot is this?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
