Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
