Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
