Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
