I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
