so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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