So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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