is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
