my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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