All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
everyone is single if you try hard enough
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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