And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
