For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize