Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
