i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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