Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
