The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
