my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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