i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
