My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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