we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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