Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
