4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize