the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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