What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
