Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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