and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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