You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
