Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
