I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
