Are we in a gay sports bar?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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