im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
