Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
