i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
