discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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