we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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