I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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